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Archive for January, 2010

X Games of the Future

Thursday, January 28th, 2010

2032xgames

Pull on your extreme pants… the 14th Annual Winter X Games start tonight at Buttermilk, Colorado.

It seems like just yesterday that I was sleeping in the passenger seat of my friend’s Volvo in the Mount Snow parking lot, when the X Games were on the east coast back in 2000.  Back then, 720’s were contest winners, Ross Powers was babyfaced and snowboarding was still considered “fresh”.

Flip on ESPN2 this weekend, though, and you’re going to get tornadoed by the extremiest of extremeness (yeah, these are all English-language words. Bing ‘em.) Could 1998-Ross Powers have imagined that double back flipping snowmobiles would be shoulder-shruggingly common in 2010? Probably not.

Where will the extremeiosity end? How far can X-humans go?

Here are my predictions for the lineup of events at the 36th Winter X Games in the year 2032, held in Haines, Alaska (the only place in America that still gets natural snowfall):

Angry-Panthers-Out-of-Their-Element – Best Trick. In 2032, jungle cats will be hot. Danny Davis’ nephew will win the cat-riding competition with a sponsor-pleasing “No Saddle Synchro Slash”, an elaborate trick that scores points for mid-air high fives between cat and rider.

Snowboard Slopestyle. By 2032, snowboarding will have gone completely out of style and forgotten, only to return to the forefront as a retro-ironic event, much like high top Nikes and stonewashed jeans at your local board shop. Super-tweaked method grabs and handplants will be judge faves. All three medalists will be sponsored by Airwalk.

Snowmobile Big Air. Oh yeah, it’ll still be around. Only now the winning trick features half a dozen airborne cartwheels as the rider simultaneously organizes a shoebox full of receipts for his income taxes. Also, he’s jumping over Tootie from “The Facts of Life”.

The Gillette Mach-23 Ultimate-Pipe. Halfpipes? Child’s play. The Superpipe? Please. The Winter X Ultimate Pipe has 58-foot titanium, diamond-coated vibrating razor sidewalls. The judges won’t even consider you for a medal unless you pull an Octuple Triple Double 3960 (no one knows what this trick actually entails because it looks like two ferrets breakdance fighting. it’s all based on good-faith and the honor system).

Anyhoo, those are my predictions. You got any?

-Luke

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VT-Gal Shatters Park Standards

Tuesday, January 26th, 2010
womanranger

It was a brilliantly sunny Saturday morning when I opened the door to meet Allison Buttner last week. I was about to shake hands with the only female terrain parks manager in Vermont, and I couldn’t develop a clear image of what I was about to see.

I’ve met a lot of terrain parks managers over the years. The role is typically held by burly, goateed and/or heavily whiskered men who thrive in the driver’s seat of heavy machinery. They have names like Gaitor, and Rosey, and Dennis. They wear torn up, paint-splattered snow pants. They play hard and ride harder.

allison_photo_stripSHATTERED STEREOTYPE

I knocked and heard a muffled voice and entered. As my eyes adjusted to the orange light pouring into her office, a reformatted ticket sales booth at the base of Bolton Valley, I found a super-friendly, stylish-looking girl rising from her office chair. There was no gruffness, no heavy metal playing on the stereo, and DEFINITELY no goatee.

“Don’t let the slight, 5-foot frame and dark, doe-like eyes fool you, Stafford,” I thought to myself. “This chick’s got a huge metal rake leaning in the corner and she knows how to use it.”

I glanced down. There were a few tears in the cuff of her pants and paint was splattered all over her boots. Yup, she’s definitely a terrain parks manager.

I hung out with Allison in the Progression Park for a little while. She filled me in on her upbringing in the shadows of Killington Mountain, a dreamworld of Wonka-like proportions for a child during the winter but a pretty boring place in the summer. It was in Killington’s growing park scene that she developed a kinship with terrain parks while she worked as a ski instructor. She decided to stay in the Green Mountain state when she graduated high school, heading to UVM to major in English and continue ski instructing at Sugarbush. When a “park crew” was finally created to manage the parks at Sugarbush, Allison realized she was not just the only female on the crew… she was the only one on the crew, period.

That’s when she decided to migrate north to Bolton. Within a few years, the position of terrain parks manager opened. She plainly told the Mountain Manager, “I want that job.” She got it.

BEING THE BOSS

Allison’s day at Bolton starts around 8am. She meets up with the 5 men she manages on the park crew and they all get to work repairing takeoffs and landings and making sure all the features are safe. Ongoing park maintenance takes up most of the day, and if things aren’t too crazy she sits down to update the Bolton Parks blog with quips, musings and photos. As the day winds down, she gives the night crew their assignments and fills the groomers in on the plan. Then she heads home to her fiancé at their place in downtown Burlington.

And what does Allison Buttner do for fun in her spare time? She plays poker with a bunch of dudes (who probably have goatees and names like Gaitor). “I’ve taken their money a few times,” she told me.

After fixing a downed rope-fence in the Butterscotch park, Allison took for me for a run up Wildreness Peak, a treat for this busy girl who’s usually in the parks all day. The snow was spectacular and the weather was perfect. We shook hands and parted ways at the bottom as she trotted off to a snow-plan meeting with all the mountain executives.

Thank you, Allison, for completely shattering my image of a Vermont terrain parks manager. May your boots always be paint-splattered and your snow rake never dull.

-Luke

http://www.vimeo.com/8994876
It was a brilliantly sunny Saturday morning when I opened the door to meet Allison Buttner last week. I was about to shake hands with the only female terrain parks manager in Vermont, and I couldn’t develop a clear image in my head.
I’ve met a lot of terrain parks managers over the years. The role is typically held by burly, goateed and/or heavily whiskered men who thrive in the driver’s seat of heavy machinery. They have names like Gaitor, and Rosey, and Dennis. They wear torn up, paint-splattered snow pants. They play hard and ride harder.
I knocked and heard a muffled voice and entered. As my eyes adjusted to the orange light pouring into her office, a reformatted ticket sales booth at the base of Bolton Valley, I found a super-friendly, stylish-looking girl rising from her office chair. There was no gruffness, no heavy metal playing on the stereo, and DEFINITELY no goatee.
“Don’t let the slight, 5-foot frame and dark, doe-like eyes fool you, Stafford,” I thought to myself. “This chick’s got a huge metal rake leaning in the corner and she knows how to use it.”
I glanced down. There were a few tears in the cuff of her pants and paint was splattered all over her boots. Yup, she’s definitely a terrain parks manager.
I hung out with Allison in the Progression Park for a little while. She filled me in on her upbringing in the shadows of Killington Mountain, a dreamworld of Wonka-like proportions for a child during the winter but a pretty boring place in the summer. It was in Killington’s growing park scene that she developed a kinship with terrain parks as she worked as a ski instructor. She decided to stay in the Green Mountain state when she graduated high school, heading to UVM to major in English and continue ski instructing at Sugarbush. When a “park crew” was finally created to manage the parks at Sugarbush, Allison realized she was not just the only female on the crew… she was the only one on the crew, period.
That’s when she decided to migrate north to Bolton. Within a few years, the position of terrain parks manager opened. She plainly told the Mountain Manager, “I want that job.” She got it.
Allison’s day at Bolton starts around 8am. She meets up with the 5 men she manages on the park crew and they all get to work repairing takeoffs and landings and making sure all the features are safe. Ongoing park maintenance takes up most of the day, and if things aren’t too crazy she sits down to update the Bolton Parks blog with quips, musings and photos. As the day winds down, she gives the night crew their assignments and fills the groomers in on the plan. Then she heads home to her fiance at their place in downtown Burlington.
And what does Allison Buttner do for fun in her spare time? She plays poker with a bunch of dudes (who probably have goatees and names like Gaitor). “I’ve taken their money a few times,” she told me.
After fixing a downed rope-fence in the Butterscotch park, Allison took for me for a run up Wildreness Peak, a treat for this busy girl who’s usually in the parks all day. The snow was spectacular and the weather was perfect. We shook hands and parted ways at the bottom as she trotted off to a snow-plan meeting with all the mountain executives.
Thank you, Allison, for completely shattering my image of a Vermont terrain parks manager. May your boots always be paint-splattered and your shovel always in snow.

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Bolton bluebird

Sunday, January 24th, 2010

Yesterday was far and away my best day of the season. All the ingredients were there: uninterrupted sunshine, temps in the upper 20s, no wind and no lift lines. Icing on the cake: I was introduced to the Wilderness peak at Bolton Valley by terrain parks manager Allison Buttner (stay tuned for an interview with Allison later this week.)

If you’ve never been to Bolton and you’re a glades-lover, you are depraved. Seriously, go there. You can duck into the trees almost anywhere on any trail and find the good stuff — I was stumbling onto fresh powder on every other run, even though there hasn’t been a good dumping in over 2 weeks.

I hope you were able to get out on Saturday. But if not, here’s a batch of photos to rub it in…

Bolton Valley (Camel's Hump in the background)

Bolton Valley (Camel's Hump in the background)

Riders emerging from the woods at the summit. No idea what they were doing in there.

Riders emerging from the woods at the summit. No idea what they were doing in there.

Bolton has a wind turbine so you can get green while you get rad in the parks.

Bolton has a wind turbine so you can get green while you get rad in the parks.

No photoshopping here - it was THAT bluebird yesterday.

No photoshopping here - it was THAT bluebird yesterday.

Even the moon made an appearance. It was all, "sure looks like a nice day to ride down there." The moon can't snowboard, though, on account of its not having any legs.

Even the moon made an appearance. It was all, "sure looks like a nice day to ride down there." The moon can't snowboard, though, on account of its not having any legs.

And the award for best dressed goes to... (I overheard someone ask him if it his hat was made of coyote or fox and he said, "nope. wolf." so it would be wise not to get on this guy's bad side.)

And the award for best dressed goes to... (I overheard someone ask this guy if his hat was made of coyote or fox and he said, "nope. wolf." so it would be wise not to get on this guy's bad side.)

Million dollar view, for the price of a lift ticket.

Million dollar view, for the price of a lift ticket.

Just one of the leftover stashes I stumbled upon at Bolton Valley. Score.

Just one of the leftover stashes I stumbled upon at Bolton Valley. Score.

-Luke

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don’t low-ball me. i might be broke.

Friday, January 22nd, 2010

A friend of mine is learning to snowboard. She IM’ed me the other day, all excited about a used snowboard she found on Craigslist. She asked me to take a look at it to see if it was a good deal. I clicked the link and was pretty amazed to see a slightly used set of boots, bindings and board for $100. “Dude, that’s a deal. Do it.” I wrote back.

So I started scouring the interwebs for more steals on Craigslist. I quickly realized that all the good deals get snatched up quick and if you’re not a Craigslist ninja, you’re left with listings like these:

2 snow boards with binders – $150 (Miami)

miamiboards

No rust. Never seen a New England winter.

Here’s a great find if you’re a snowboarder in… Miami? Did I read that right? Yes, that does say Miami. From the photo, it looks like these decks have been sitting behind a pile of boxes in the corner of a garage since the Lewinski scandal. We can only assume that the “binders” are the things that keep your feet attached to the board and not a legal agreement between you and your deck (or maybe they come with a free set of Trapper Keeper binders?). Either way, give this guy a call if you’ve been looking for the perfect his/her boards to match your ‘98 Mercury Cougar.

SNOW BOARDS FOR SALE!! – $100 (Parker)

Leash included. Ask for Alan.

Leash included. Ask for Alan.

Another two-fer deal not to be passed up. The little guy on the left is a lovely shade of Avatar-blue… so hot right now. And the flame-job on the right… well, fire never goes out of style. If you squint and look closely, you can see that there’s an actual, real-life leash hanging off the Avatar board. I wasn’t aware these things even existed anymore, leading me to believe that these boards have been sitting idle far longer than the “haven’t boarded in a couple of seasons” claimed in the ad (btw, whenever anyone says “a couple”, it’s a dead giveaway for way more than two. “I only had a couple drinks, Officer.”) If you’re wondering what brand these boards are, Avatar is an “Arrow” and Flame-Job is a “Provider”. If anyone has proof that these snowboard companies actually exist or did exist, please email ridevrmnt@gmail.com. Oh, I almost forgot, Alan might be willing to throw in boots for $40 extra. Sold.

Two Lamar snowboards. 154 & 149 – $150

You might think I’m making this Portland, OR, listing up, so I’ll insert the text here verbatim: “I am selling two Lamar snowboards… Both boards are in very good shape. Asking $150 for each or $280 for both. Might trade for a firearm. Please email me with any questions, thanks.” Read it again. It says, “Might trade for a firearm.”

Ladies and Gentlemen… Mr. Jeff Foxworthy!

“If you trade a deer rifle for a pair of used Lamar snowboards?… you might be a redneck.”

3 NEW SNOWBOARDS MOLSON RED HOOK PENGUIN WINE – $300

Snowboardvertising opportunity.

Snowboardvertising opportunity.

If your idea of bliss is bombarding mountain-goers with marketing messages all day long, you just hit paydirt. Throw on an oversized hoodie with an enormous DC logo and a pair of snowboard pants that say OAKLEY down the left leg and you’re in business. Literally.

GNU SNOWBOARD – $1 (Delco)

Our next seller gets the “Kanye” award for being the cockiest guy on Craigslist. Here’s how he plans to sell you his Gnu board: “For sale is a GNU 2009 Altered Genetics snowboard. GNU is a sister company of LIB TECH, if you don’t know who either of these company are, you don’t deserve this board. These are arguably the best company’s making snowboards today. There is way to much i can say about this board, i dont need to sell you on it, it sells itself. This board is top 5 snowboards on the market, better then 95% of the 2010 boards out, just google it and read about it, …I really dont want to sell this board but money is really tough, so don’t low ball me, bc i might be broke, but i wont let this board go for cheap. …the board is better then your board with any pair of bindings on it.”

I find it awesome that Kanye-guy doesn’t want you to low-ball him, because he “might” be broke. You can’t be certain, though. There’s a mystery there, and that’s why this guy “might” sell you a board that’s better than your board… for $1.

All the above listings are 100% real, discovered on Craigslist.com on 1/22/2010.


But enough about e-commerce. I’d be a bad blogger if I didn’t show you this video proof of The White One executing a Double McTwist 1260. Twitter is exploding with hysteria about the precedent-setting trick, which Shaun executed during a Grand Prix practice session at Park City last night. According to TransWorld Snowboarding mag, he’s been relentlessly dialing in this trick the past week. Now, it’s perfected. If he lands this trick at the Olympics… gold.

Gorgeous weather on tap this weekend. Go ride.

-Luke

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Trick Tip Tuesdays: The Kickflip

Tuesday, January 19th, 2010
YouTube Preview Image

Impress your friends and wow the opposite sex when you’re chilling outside the base lodge, waiting for the gondola to get off wind-hold, with this cool-as kickflip. Practice on a flat surface and then take it to the next level on a mellow box.

As always, be safe.

Thanks to TWSnow.com and Jesse Burtner for the poach.